Internal Longing

So, usually while we are in the states, we go through stages of contentment. When we first arrive we are thrilled at everything around us, food, family, culture, etc..... Then in the middle we start evening out and feeling less tempted to see, smell, taste, touch and hear everything. Then our last period of time before returning to the field is spent saying farewell to things and people here while getting exciting abouting getting back to our other "home". Well, about halfway through our time in the states, the longings start. Tonight sitting here on our couch in Tulsa I had one. It was very short, but intense. I imagined streets in Italy that I have walked on and how I longed to be there. I am excited about the prospect of getting back. I am excited about the new team that God is forming. I am excited about what our new team is going to do once we arrive and they go through language school. I am excited about what the Ancona team is doing, as well as the other friends in ministry throughout Italy. I think God allows that longing to lie dormant during the first months of our Home Assignment, or it would make it terribly difficult to be content. In recent weeks we announced that we would be extending our stay in America from the end of June until the end of September. We will be balancing those feelings of contentment and longing a few more months, so that our team can be more fully ready to head to Verona.

How God Takes Care of Us

So....these last couple of weeks, we are constantly reminded of how God is there taking care of us, when we ask and even when we don't.

For instance, two days ago I was out for a meeting and was returning home. I had just talked with Angie and told her I could stop by our favorite pizza by the slice place and pick up some pizza for lunch, when she asked if I had been able to pick up some dishwasher calcium cleaner. I hadn't and she said not to worry about it that she would get it later in the day. I decided to go ahead and go by the store to pick it up to help her out. As I was walking I thought of the two air conditioner holes in our windows and how I needed to call the glass guy (in Italy you have a glass guy) to replace the panes before we moved. I thought of how difficult it can be to get ahold of this guy and kind of started to worry (my bad). You see we don't have much time left. So, I got to the street where our grocery store is (in Italy you have a grocery store - it's one block from our house) and I walked right by a guy carrying a pane of glass. Funny, I didn't think a thing of it...yet. I looked in at the grocery store at the line was extremely long...I thought about it and didn't think that Angie would want me to wait in the line that long just for the cleaner, so I turned around and headed home. Then I passed the guy carrying another pane of glass. I walked right by him and then stopped dead in my tracks. At first I just thought he was putting up some glass shelving in the store he was going in, but the panes were big....was he a glass guy? Could this be God's way of setting something up with some other glass guy so that we could get things moving in the glass department? I turned around and he was bringing another pane of glass up and I asked him, "do you work for this store or do you work with glass?" He said, "he was a glass guy." I said, "Good because I have two windows with holes that I need to get replaced before we leave." He said, "You'll have to ask the boss," then pointed behind me. When I turned around, there standing before me was our glass guy! I explained what we needed and that we were moving and he said he would come over right after that and measure them. He came and the next day they came and installed the new panes of glass. It was only 60 euro!

Then today, I planned on solving our moving problem. You see living in an apartment has some problems when you have large furniture. In Italy, they have these elevated platforms that you can rent that come up to your balcony and you put your stuff on it. You can also put smaller stuff on it and it saves you from using the elevator or going down the five flights of stairs (we're on the fifth floor). So, Angie helped me find some numbers and I started calling. We had a friend who had told us he knew someone who did moving and he would try to get some information for us. He didn't come through. So that's how we found ourselves four days before our moving date looking through the yellow pages. After calling a few places, it looked bleak. Many couldn't do it that soon because they were booked. And the prices for renting the elevated platform, moving van and having them help move was looking to be too expensive. The average move has a cost of 2,000 euro or more. Just the platform has a cost of 450 euro for a five hours. Remember we take even our kitchen with us, that means it needs to be taken down and then moved to storage as well as the rest of our furnishings. So, I finally called one guy by the name of Pino and he said the elevated platform was available for Tuesday, but we still needed a rental van. He graciously said he could be over in thirty minutes to give us a precise estimate for everything. He came and fifteen minutes later we had hired three movers, the moving van and the elevated platform. The Ancona team is going to be helping us that day too and he took that into account for how many other men he needed to bring. It is going to cost 600 euro for everything. God is awesome and he always takes good care of us.

Missing Ancona Already

Boy am I going to miss Ancona. In two weeks, we are moving out of our apartment and staying with the Casey's for a week. In three weeks we fly out from Ancona to Tulsa. We will no longer be residents of the city of Ancona. We have been moving towards this for over nine months, but now it is real. Now it is happening. All around me is the evidence. Boxes clutter our home constantly reminding us of the coming changes. We are excited about Verona and what the future holds, but that doesn't mean we won't miss Ancona when we go. When we left Tulsa to come to Ancona (via Perugia for language school) we missed Tulsa, even though we were excited to "finally" get to Italy after raising initial support for almost two years. This December we would have lived in this same apartment in Ancona for six years. Except for our parents' homes, Angie and I have never lived as long in one home. And since we have been married, it has been the home that we have lived in the longest, six out of eleven years in December. That too is interesting, because we moved in our apartment on our fifth wedding anniversary, December 21, 2001. We have celebrated our marriage and our arrival in Ancona on the same day for almost six years now. As we go through these last few weeks here, we are saying goodbye to people and places that have been a large part of our adult lives. And we will miss them. That isn't to say we won't visit, and people from here won't visit us in Verona, but the convenience of being in this city near these things will be gone which causes a bit of sadness. We won't be sad forever, and each city we live in here on earth will pale in comparison to what God has in store for us in heaven. It's okay to allow ourselves to experience sadness, its part of our humanity and God made us this way. He also provides the wings of cover for us to run under and rest in his comfort. So, to Ancona.....thanks for all the memories, friendships, christmases, thanksgivings, beach days, short term teams, birthdays, ministry, laughter, church community, life, love and happiness you have provided through the providence and blessings of God. God is great and he has always provided what we needed and we believe he always will.

How Does It Feel?

I have been asked the question "how are you feeling?" regarding our transition off of the Ancona team an onto the Verona team. It's a hard thought to formulate. I guess in many ways I feel numb. Not in a "I don't care" kind of numb, but in a I honestly don't feel affected inside. I know the way that I usually process things, means that once we are off of the team and we have returned back to the states, then moved to Verona, it will start to sink in and I will think fondly of the things I miss. If I stopped and thought, I know that I would feel nostalgic now, however, I haven't felt like I have time to stop and think right now. We have been going through this transition for almost eight months now and I have been taking it in little by little, and slowly moving towards this goal.

Before we joined the Team Expansion Italy team, I was working at Hastings Entertainment in Joplin, Missouri while working through college. Hastings, is kind of like a Barnes & Noble meets Blockbuster meets Best Buy (music and software depts only), in other words they had books, videos, video rentals, music and software. When I started there I was a cashier at the front. I remember telling my interviewer that I would be their best salesman. I'm not sure if that was too confident or not, but they did quickly see leadership abilities in me, as well as other character traits that prompted them to promote me as manager of the music department. I was good as a cashier and they saw that I might be good as a manager also. So for the next year and a half, until we heard the Lord's call to Italy, I was the music manager. They even started sending me to other stores to help them boost sales and do inventory. As a cashier and as a manager, I worked for Hastings. In many ways, that is how I see the two situations with the two teams in Italy.

In Ancona, we are part of Taking Christ to Italy, a Team Expansion PACE project (adopted and set in motion by Shively Christian Church, Louisville, KY). In Verona, we will be part of Taking Christ to Italy, the same Team Expansion PACE project. If God were leading us to another country I would be feeling very different I think. But God is leading us to another city, that is part of the same plan that we have been working towards for eight years now. It isn't a step away as much as a step forward in seeing this PACE project fully realized and God's kingdom grown because of it. I think it is because of this that I feel numb. It isn't because I don't love the people here in Ancona, I do. I know that God will add people from Verona to love in my heart. It isn't because I don't cherish the great memories that outweigh the bad memories with our team members here in Ancona. I do and will cherish those memories. I know this isn't the end, not really. I'll miss seeing our Ancona team members on a regular basis, of course, but at least we'll only be 3-4 hours away. We can visit and they can too.

It will also be tough to remove ourselves from a ministry that has seen great momentum in the past couple of years. The book "Good to Great" talks about momentum and how when people usually see momentum it is always after years of great effort and commitment working towards that momentum. I also know that God brings us momentum when we are ready, after he has taken the time to prepare us for what he has coming. This ministry in Ancona is at a good point and I look forward to seeing how God works here in the future. As we make the move, first in thought then in the physical realm, to Verona we have have to start over. Maybe not at square one totally, Angie and I already know much Italy....in any case much much more than when we arrived in Italy in March of 2001. But we do have to start over at learning a city, the people, their needs, the 'slang' for this region. We will start with very few acquaintances, like when we started in Ancona. But it is like a brand new canvas. One that we do not paint upon, but one where we are merely the tools of the Great Artist. Our new team are the brushes and paints, the oils and watercolors. When a master sets out to paint a masterpiece it is on the same blank canvas that anyone else can find. But it is through the particular strokes, colors, artistic talent and images one creates that it becomes a masterpiece. I greatly anticipate the two masterpieces that our Father is painting in Italy, in Ancona and Verona, along with the other cities where there are those that call out His name. I long to see the paintings finished and to see how we were used along the way.

So, how does it feel? I guess numb is only one aspect, the other is anxious. Anxious to see God's masterpieces of his people.

Winding Down

So we are approaching the end of June. Which normally would just be another month passing by, but in this case it is ushering in the end of an era. We are almost in our last month on the Taking Christ to Italy: Go Ancona team. August 1st, we will be officially only on the Taking Christ to Italy: Go Verona team. We will still be living in Ancona and seeing the Ancona team members and Italian friends who live here, but all of our other tasks will relate to the new team and the new city. It is an amazing ride that started eight years and two months ago, in May 1999. We have went through many ups and downs, while experiencing things we never imagined. As I sit and reflect on the past, I get sentimental, thinking of times gone by, dinners with friends (team or nationals), birthday parties together, holidays, etc... But before I get too sad, there is one more holiday coming up and a few birthday parties left. It isn't over yet, so we'll enjoy celebrating the Fourth of July as Americans over here in Italy. We'll relish the next few birthday events. And with our responsibilities for the team and church, we'll finish strong. Not because we'll feel good, but because God wants our best. And our best is what we will strive to give him.